Re: comments
Kanga is my fantabulous mother-in-law, Scout is my four year old little sister.
And Joey is going to LOVE that you pictured him as Latino, Hilary!! My prediction is that I will read your comment to him, he will laugh and then invest a good amount of time teasing me for my inaccurate writing skills, and then I will confess that sometimes I may accidentally have written about my OTHER husband…Antonio Banderas.
Now, without further ado, allow me to present…
THE HOUND FROM HADES
Please, try to be brave.
In all seriousness, though? McLovin has been kind of a huge pain. This led me to read a book by the Dog Whisperer guy, because when in doubt, I read a book! But it was really helpful, and Joey and I got on the same page, and she’s been doing much better. Well, I guess Cesar would say that WE are doing much better. Apparently, its all about the energy that you project. A few weeks ago, we thought it was funny when the puppy started to charge my plate of food, and I stopped her without saying anything, just giving her my infamous Teacher Look. We thought it was nothing more than a good story to file under Reasons Why Lucy Is Scary, but I guess it was really an example of the one time I projected the right energy with McLovin. So I’ve been practicing, and now I can make the puppy stay in her kennel with the door open until invited out, resist chewing on my hands and feet, and wait to eat until given permission, all with my Jedi mind tricks. This morning, she even stopped halfway through the hole in the backyard fence, turned around, and came back when told to do so. My energy was particularly strong, though, since I had NO desire whatsoever to chase the puppy around the side yard clad in a fuzzy pink robe and flip-flops, my hair in complete disarray, waddling like a gigantic pregnant duck. Classy, I know.
The fact that I was able to go outside wearing these things, and did not die of frostbite, reminds me. I should take back my snark about the natives of my area and how they panick over trivial freezing precipitation. Because after I wrote it, I read Kate’s post about the weather in her area, and realized that I am a big baby and would DIE in such conditions, no questions asked.
Which also reminds me that when I wrote about ICE, I forgot my funny little story of the tiny Red Hat Society lady who attempted to shove me OFF THE ICE BRIDGE because I wasn’t moving fast enough for her. I know I didn’t look pregnant in that parka, and pregnancy is usually my reason for why people should be nice to me these days, but really, you shouldn’t be pushing anyone. Even if they are taller than you. Even if you are rocking the red hat and purple shoes thing.
I may possibly have planted my feet, turned, and projected some very stern energy.
She got off easy, though. Just ask McLovin.
i must read a dog whisperer book…asap! we’ve been doing good with the training of our new pup, but there is no way he would ever stay in his crate with the door open. that is impressive. so far all we have is sit, lay down, & roll over.
McLovin might be the cutest puppy ever! She looks so sweet, how can she be so…sassy?
Isn’t the Dog Whisperer book awesome? I also adore The Other End of the Leash by Patricia McConnell. All of her dog books are helpful, actually, but that one is the most applicable to puppyhood.
I’m glad Joey will get a kick out of the fact that I imagined him as a Latino. I think it was more due to my weird imagination than your inaccurate writing skills (which are actually quite fabulous and not at all inaccurate, I think). I was imagining more Marc Consuelos than Antonio Banderas, but Antonio Banderas would be my choice for MY other husband, too. Ahhhh…
Do you think the dog whisperer stuff would help with my children?