Highlights of Thanksgiving November 28, 2008

In bullet point form, because I am weak with that turkey chemical that makes you all sleepy and languid.

• Getting up at 5:00 AM for NO REASON AT ALL and getting an insane amount of nesting-type stuff done.

 

• Making those “special” and “different” sweet potatoes (that are sweet!) and feeling soooo proud of myself. Until I realized that they were hopelessly ruined, for reasons unknown.

 

• Not crying even a little big over the stupid potatoes. Making a valiant effort to salvage them, but deciding that it would be kinder to come empty-handed than to force people to politely choke them down.

 

• Being an hour late because Joey decided he was tired of showing up on time and being forced to wait for everyone else. Only, we were THE LAST ONES THERE and they started without us. But mostly I put aside my terrible need to be on time for EVERYTHING, because hey, it’s his family. As long as they don’t think I made him late with sad failed attempts at cooking, then no big deal. Right??

 

• I seriously hate being late.

 

• But I looked cute, at least.

 

• Delicious food cooked by competent adults… a nice change from how Thanksgiving would be if I ran it!

 

• A shocking amount of naughty words and off-color jokes for such a seemingly upstanding group.

 

• Laughing entirely too hard for my poor, pushed-out ribs to handle.

 

• Sharing a chair with Joey the whole time and snuggling.

 

• Having the encouraging point made many, many, many  times that “parenting skills” are a joke! Ha ha! And children will pop out just how they are, and that’s that, missy!

 

• Sidestepping any debate on childhood development and ed psych by stating that I won’t need any parenting skills… Ariel will be naturally perfect just like me.

 

• Being assured by a 97 year-old relative that I shouldn’t worry, the baby has a good chance of taking after my side and not these hooligans. At least, I THINK she said hooligans. Something to that effect.

 

• Hearing spirited debate over who did or did not ‘poot’. I believe this was around the time of the hooligans comment.

 

• Going home and taking a nap while my darling husband finished putting together the dresser. And installed the new towel rack and toilet paper holder in the bathroom. Because he is awesome, even though he put the toilet paper holder at a very bizarre angle.

 

• Kicking off the Christmas season (because you CAN NOW, people. You WAIT until Thanksgiving is over, and THEN DO CHRISTMASY STUFF!!!) by going to see Four Christmases with Joey. My date was super cute. The movie… meh. It wasn’t really a Christmas movie… or a good movie… the best I can say is it had some gratuitously adorable babies in it, and a few funny lines. But it wasn’t even really a wait-for-DVD-movie.

 

• Twisting around in agony during two thirds of the movie because MY RIBS! OUCH! AM NOT PROPORTIONED FOR CHILDBEARING!

 

• Thinking ahead a few weeks to Christmas Break plans!!

 

• Coming home to find that McLovin (who can hold it all night, as long as Joey goes to bed late and I get up very early) had irrigated her kennel during the two hours we were gone. Including the fleecy poofy dog bed that she LOVES and that I had just washed. So its back in the washer, and she’s currently feeling very sorry for herself… so excited that we came back home, only to get a spanking and a lecture, be put BACK in the kennel in disgrace, and to top it off – no bed, just that wimpy blanket. If I knew where my camera was, I would put the world’s SADDEST picture of HORRIBLY ABUSED beagle puppy on here. She is currently shivering pitifully and imploring me with her eyes to just spare one farthing so she can buy a lump of coal to warm this miserable night. JUST ONE? PLEASE? HAVE A ‘ART, KIND LADY?

 

• But I have no heart. Am made of ICE. Will totally be arguing that she feels properly chastised and is very sorry and will never, ever do it again, in about five minutes, with the Alpha Dog of the family.

 

• And that is Thanksgiving.