A while ago, I was on the phone with my mamma, and I DARED to walk through the kitchen without feeding Maya the cat. To add insult to injury, I think I was selfishly getting food for myself. So she began to heartbrokenly and LOUDLY wail and cry. To put this into proper context, Maya is well on her way to being enourmously fat, and she freaks out any time her food dish is empty. Even if she just ate. Even if it is four in the morning. There must be food present at all times, biatches.
After trying to shoo her away, I finally picked up her food dish and growled, “Fine! I’ll feed you, if you will just SHUT UP for the love of all that’s holy!!”
Clearly, I am sooooo ready for motherhood. Could I be anymore nurturing and kind?
Hour Two Of Empty Dish: Sooooo…..Weak….Must….Not…Follow….Light…..
My cat is making me insane. -er. Every morning, and every time I come home, I dread letting my eyes wander to the corner where we keep her litter box. Because EVERY time (it feels like) there is a tidy little pile of poo right next to the litter box. And yes, the litter box is kept clean. And yes, I love the cat and must keep her for always. BUT I like our shiny new apartment, too, and I don’t want it to become nasty-fied by Maya. I have no solution, just to clean up the stray pile of poo before Joey sees it, because he isn’t all tolerant-like the way I am. I was informed yesterday that the only reason Maya has not been forcefully evicted is because Joey loves me. A lot.
Although yesterday? I was all ready to go out and buy her a big cage to live in at all unattended times. Until I checked the bank account and realized we could realistically afford a large cardboard box.
Since I do everything else wrong* in regards to cat ownership (according to the Internet) I decided to just keep cleaning up the poop for now.
*We had Maya declawed, and not until we dropped her off at the vets and I went home to Google ‘how to care for cat after declaw surgery’ did I find out that declawing is Wrong and Mean and I should Die A Painful Death. Also, have some Hate. Hate, Hate, Hate.
And I cried, for I knew that right that minute, my cat was being PERMANENTLY MUTILATED, and also TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE. But dude, she was seriously destroying patches of carpet in our old apartment – I mean gaping bare holes where carpet should have been. It was not pretty. And it turns out, Maya is too big of a dork to realize that she has been PERMANENTLY MUTILATED, etc., and remains exactly the same. She even tries to scratch her scratching post still.
Hmmm, a whole post about the cat. Am lame. Very lame.
I don’t know if this will work for Maya, but I just read a blog from someone who had a cat for 6 years before finally pooping into the litter box. I guess her husband, in a hurry, was leaving for work and didn’t have time to grab the wipes they normally used to clean up poop. So he grabbed the Clorox orange-scented wipes instead, and their cat hasn’t gone on the floor since.
They’re guessing it’s the orange smell. Maybe it’ll work for Maya.
Just a suggestion!
And don’t dwell on the de-clawing. A lot of people, at the brink of going insane, see no other option than to de-claw their cat. What matters is that you still love her
Good idea! She’s been doing better lately, but with the way she has been ‘pretending’ to scratch up the furniture, I don’t feel too bad that she has no claws